Infertility after a baby

L has been the most amazing little person we could have hoped for. His smile lights up our entire world. He gives the best hugs. He has the bluest eyes. He’s funny and adventurous. To us, he is perfect no matter how many sleepless nights we have.

Now that he is nearly a year (how did that happen?!) we have to look at the reality we face.

We had always dreamed of having at least two children, never knowing how difficult just  having one would be.

We love L and our world is complete with him in it. But we never wanted him to be an only child. And that’s what we’re facing.

I’m an only child and I had a great childhood. But that wasn’t our dream for our family.

So do we accept that this is what our family will look like? Or do we fight again? What if we have another miscarriage? Is it fair to put L through it?

The thought of going through all of the testing and the disappointment again weighs on me enough. But putting Logan through that emotional roller coaster with me breaks my heart.

I was not my best self those two years of infertility issues. I hid. I cried a lot. I ruined friendships.

This time we know what to expect, so maybe it will be easier. This time I have this tiny human who makes even the worst day better, so maybe that will help. And maybe knowing that it can work, and what the outcome is, will help.

But still, the disappointment and the frustration of something you thought would be so easy, just eats at you.

I wonder what it’s like to look at your spouse and say hey, let’s have a baby. And couple weeks later, boom! I’ll never know that feeling.


Start Asking questions

This is my third year supporting National Infertility Awareness Week (check out more information here)

The theme this year is #StartAsking . What does that mean?

It’s time to start asking questions about infertility and what can be done about it.

With two healthy young adults, I knew that a year of trying on our own, something just wasn’t right.

We had no idea what we were doing and no one in either of our families (that we know of) had been through something like this.

We felt alone and ashamed asking for help but we decided that’s what we needed to do. My OB heard my story and put me on medication (clomid) that ended up being an absolutely disaster. Then we tried the next thing (femara) before we were finally sent to an RE.

I wish in those months, I would have known more. I wish I would have asked questions.

Clomid messed me up pretty badly and I wish I would have know to have more monitoring done during that time frame. Who knows what it ended up doing to my system.

Finally with the RE we learned to ask the right questions. Side effects, the entire process, the entire cost since our insurance didn’t help with a lot. What were our options? What was our back up plan? What were the chances?

Some of the answers, we didn’t like. Some answers were scary. But the more we asked, the more we started to take back control in this very lonely process.

I also started to ask, why me? What about everyone else? The more I thought about it, I started to share our journey, which was very cathartic for me. And that’s when I learned that I wasn’t alone. And it wasn’t just us. I felt less alone. While I was sad others were dealing with this struggle, feeling less isolated definitely helped me navigate how to cope with everything we were facing. We got there by asking questions and doing our research too.



Infertility Chat today!

Coming up at 11am Eastern —


Online. #InfertilityChat. 11:00AM – 12:00PM ET
Join the experts and learn more about infertility, the latest research, and where to find the support you need. Co-hosted by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, National Institute of Health, American Society for Reproductive Medicine, Centers for Disease Control and Office of Women’s Health. Follow #InfertilityChat on Twitter to get involved with the discussion.

National Infertility Awareness Week 2016:

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In April 2012 we hoped to start a little family. After one miscarriage, lots of heartache and months of fertility treatments, we finally were blessed with a son in May 2015.

While it took us just over two years to have a healthy pregnancy, we had a relatively easy journey compared to the heartbreak so many others go through.

Know that if you are struggling with fertility, you are not alone. Find your voice and start asking questions.

We fought for our ability to have a family by asking questions and getting the medical professional help that we needed.

Here’s the list of events has going on this month. So much useful, helpful information out there!

If you want to know more about our fertility journey or any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask!


Review of Hello Fresh

Lately we have been intrigued by some of these monthly meal subscription boxes but we weren’t sure if we’d like them. The perk is that you don’t have to decide what to make, you have the ingredients delivered to your door and the recipe comes with it. We have hesitated in trying one out, mostly due to the price. However, a friend of mine had a code for us to test out a box for free with Hello Fresh.

The box I picked was the Classic Box for 2 people, for 4 meals so I paid a total of $4.95.

We received our box on Saturday with 4 meals in boxes. Each meal was boxed separately, meats packaged separately and a recipe booklet.


The first meal we made (suggested by the booklet) was a Citrus Skillet Shrimp recipe. I do not eat any seafood so I was pretty disappointed to see this come as a recipe.  The potatoes that were the side dish were really tasty. The veggie combo was comprised of mostly red onion and poblano pepper. I took a bit of that and put it to the side so I could test it before adding the shrimp. While not something I world ordinarily make, it was interesting and tasted OK. I can’t speak to the shrimp but my husband seemed to like it well enough.


Pan-Roasted Chicken was our second meal of the week. Chicken breasts on a bed of brown rice with a mushroom sauce. No veggie in this meal. I am not a big fan of mustard and this recipe had a bit of dijon mustard in it but it was surprisingly tasty. I would make this again. A fresh package of thyme came in the box and I probably spent 20 minutes trying to separate the leaves from the stalk. Cooking time wasn’t too long and overall a very yummy dish!


Next up was Seared Steak with spring Veggie Succotash and Mint-Chive Pesto. I love steak so I was curious about this recipe. I’ve heard of succotash but never had it. I looked over the ingredients for this one and was pretty bummed out as it included peas, asparagus and zucchini – I’m not a fan of any of that but I was open-minded and gave it a shot anyways. The steak was cut very unevenly so it took forever to cook the inside while the outside was bordering on blackened versus seared. As a breastfeeding mama I have been staying away from mint so my Mint-Chive Pesto was lacking (I only put in 4 mint leaves!) but it was absolutely delicious. I even liked the zucchini, onions, asparagus and pea succotash, I was surprised! Overall another very tasty meal, saving this recipe also!


The fourth and final meal was a vegetarian dish, Jamie’s Easy-Peasy. I was not a fan of this meal and neither was my husband. Weird aftertaste. Just not our favorite whatsoever.

Overall some of the meals were tasty, I would definitely make the chicken and steak dishes again! It was nice to have the recipe and ingredients put right in front of me and all I had to do was click a button!

Unfortunately the price is a bit much. 4 meals for my husband and I every week would cost us $84.90/week. That’s just over $10.50 a meal for each of us. If it were closer to $5 a meal for each of us I would think it much more reasonable. The portion sizes were small compared to what I’m used to cooking. I usually double our portions so we have leftovers for lunch the next day. We had no leftovers except for the last meal, which was the vegetarian pasta dish.

The other major downside of these meals was the amount of chopping and prep-work involved. I didn’t anticipate that much work for meals that were delivered to me. I’m not sure what exactly I expected for preparation, but I didn’t expect to spend 20 minutes chopping and mincing. The cooking time wasn’t much but the mis en place was lengthy.

Definitely a good try if you can get a discount or discount code from some one!