Start Asking questions

This is my third year supporting National Infertility Awareness Week (check out more information here)

The theme this year is #StartAsking . What does that mean?

It’s time to start asking questions about infertility and what can be done about it.

With two healthy young adults, I knew that a year of trying on our own, something just wasn’t right.

We had no idea what we were doing and no one in either of our families (that we know of) had been through something like this.

We felt alone and ashamed asking for help but we decided that’s what we needed to do. My OB heard my story and put me on medication (clomid) that ended up being an absolutely disaster. Then we tried the next thing (femara) before we were finally sent to an RE.

I wish in those months, I would have known more. I wish I would have asked questions.

Clomid messed me up pretty badly and I wish I would have know to have more monitoring done during that time frame. Who knows what it ended up doing to my system.

Finally with the RE we learned to ask the right questions. Side effects, the entire process, the entire cost since our insurance didn’t help with a lot. What were our options? What was our back up plan? What were the chances?

Some of the answers, we didn’t like. Some answers were scary. But the more we asked, the more we started to take back control in this very lonely process.

I also started to ask, why me? What about everyone else? The more I thought about it, I started to share our journey, which was very cathartic for me. And that’s when I learned that I wasn’t alone. And it wasn’t just us. I felt less alone. While I was sad others were dealing with this struggle, feeling less isolated definitely helped me navigate how to cope with everything we were facing. We got there by asking questions and doing our research too.

Siggyforblog

 

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You Are Not Alone – Infertility and having more children

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and my whole pregnancy has been well, crazy.

I saw this great article a few weeks back and I wanted to share it and talk about it for a moment.

People make comments about how they’re sure I can’t wait to be done since pregnancy is so awful, etc. (I’ve blogged elsewhere about comments like this if you’d like to see more). There have been comments about…well what did you “really” want in regards to me having a boy, or before we knew what we were having. This is all besides the point.

Another question I’ve been asked is about what birth control I’ll be going on after, how long we want to wait to try again, etc.

But the thing I feel like most people don’t understand is that…we have come to terms with the fact that there is a very good chance this is going to be our one and only child.

Even now it’s a painful question when asked about our future family plans — and it is no one’s business.

After a miscarriage and two and a half years of fertility treatments, five medicated cycles – including 3 IUIs, we’ve been through a lot already. We are so grateful for our little miracle we have on the way. But the sheer exhaustion, both physically and emotionally of going through fertility treatments was hard enough on just me and my husband. I can’t imagine having a small child and going through all of that again.

I know the physical effects that the medications had on me was hard. I was exhausted, temperamental, clingy and a whole slough of other emotions. Plus the two week waiting window, both to ovulate and to find out if it had worked or not, combined with several appointments a week…I can’t imagine dragging a toddler through all of that.

Maybe I’ll feel really differently when our son is two or three years old and feel that we can all handle it. But I may not.

Plus the fact that when our son is a few months old, I will be moving away from the wonderful team of doctors I had.

Yes I realize that we would be making the conscious decision to not have more children but beyond that it’s the decision to not put ourselves and especially our child, through what was the most difficult journey we have ever been on.

For the meantime, we will enjoy these last few weeks of this pregnancy and our time with our sweet baby, who we are so excited to meet.

Siggyforblog

You Are Not Alone – our infertility journey

Infertility

For day 2 of National Infertility Awareness Week I wanted to share what we went through our on journey through infertility.

In April 2012 my husband and I decided hey, we’re ready to have a family. After a few months of just going with the flow I realized I needed to be a bit more in control and started sort of tracking things that were happening and realized something might be a little off.

By Christmas of that year, I was a disaster. I was becoming consumed with the fact that nothing was happening. I was frustrated, I was angry, confused and worried.

I spent many days crying that December, pretty much miserable to be around, making an ass of myself to people who I thought were my friends, I was all together a disaster.

In April of 2013 my husband left on deployment. It was awful to be apart from my best friend but at the same time it was almost a relief. No husband = no trying to conceive. For the first time in a year I wasn’t worried about if I was ovulating or not. I wasn’t losing my mind during the two week waiting window. I was just…me. A sad stressed version of myself but still me.

By the time the deployment was over I felt like I had my head on straight again and was completely ready to tackle things. I had blood work, ultrasounds and an HSG done on my end to see where we were at.

After reviewing our results our OBGYN prescribed Clomid. The two cycles we did Clomid, for me, was an absolute nightmare. I don’t know that I have ever been so sick.

After a discussion with my doctor we decided Clomid was not right for us. However the second cycle we were on with yielded a blessing and we found out on December 30th, 2013 that we were pregnant!

We were in disbelief. Did this really work? And it had! We were excited but extremely cautious. 10 days after we discovered our happy news we ended up in the ER with cramping and bleeding and it was like someone had popped a balloon.

The next few days were a blur. Physically I was in discomfort as I went through the miscarriage process. My doctor cleared me to go ahead and try again as soon as we felt ready.

After Clomid we tried Femara, which is similar to Clomid but without some of the major side effects and we saw no improvement.

Next we moved to the Fertility Institute of Hawaii to take the next step. They told us we had both male and female factors contributing to our issues and recommend we do IUIs (Intrauterine Insemination).

We did one month of medication only before going through our first IUI. We were prescribed Follistim which you self inject for a few days at beginning of the cycle to help with egg growth and egg stimulation.

We used this regiment in varying doses as determined by our doctors for five cycles throughout 2014.

In late August I went in for our third IUI…and I haven’t had to go back since. We have no idea how that cycle worked as our numbers were the worst they had been yet….but somehow everything aligned and now here we are, nine months later and less than four weeks away from our due date.

Check out Resolve.org for more information on how you can get involved or for resources on infertility. If you’d like more information from me on each of these tests and methods we tried, feel free to contact me!

Siggyforblog