Homecoming Take 2!

So the hubby returned from his second deployment about two weeks ago. Yay!!

I was pretty exhausted this time around with being 39 weeks pregnant so I didn’t make it a huge deal like I would have liked to but I tried to do a little bit!

I got a bunch of his favorite snacks, his milk, cereal, etc. so he would have all his creature comforts.

He left for training a week before I found out we were pregnant. He was gone for about 8 weeks and returned home for weeks 11 to 17. We found out the gender two days before he deployed.

When he left I was still skinny, trying to pretend that some bloat was really a baby bump, even though I didn’t “pop” for another six weeks or so.

So in honor of his return, and the whole him missing a lot of things, that inspired these. I made two signs, one to go in front of the house and the other to take with me to the airport. My mom posed as the photographer for this go-round. I also found a pretty cute maternity dress that I thought showed off the bump, since he had never seen it in person!

In front of the house I posted this:  IMG_1436

Kind of hard to read but says: You’re getting’ 1 hyper dog, 1 needy cat, 1 Mama ready to pop, 1 baby ready to be born. Welcome home! (Home is actually a sad drawing of our house.)

I know it’s not beautiful but I tried to paint this on the back of our truck bed…with a huge basketball like belly in my way, so it is what it is!

Pinterest sort of failed me with signs and quotes, I had a hard time finding ones that were specific to my situation. There were a lot of come meet your baby signs, but the baby was still four days away so that wouldn’t work!

Here’s the other sign I made, and this came to the airport with me.

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More posts to come later but I thought I’d share my fun signs! I seriously don’t have an artistic bone in my body so this is pretty much as good as it gets for me!

Have a good weekend!

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Cheers to 2015, Goodbye 2014

I love when I can end a year and say wow….this was the best year ever! But that was definitely not 2014 for us.

As I’ve said in a few posts, we started out on a major high, only to have the year fall apart 9 days into it with a miscarriage.

That’s how our year started and, in many ways, it didn’t seem to get better.

I suffered from a really rough ovarian cyst in February that caused serious pain and a multitude of doctor appointments to make sure everything was going to be OK.

Followed up by months more of doctor appointments, difficult treatments and injections on our infertility journey.

Throw in three additional losses to our family, my 17 and a half year old childhood dog, Patches. Our 8 year old bunny. And Wesley’s kind and sweet grandmother.

Me and Patch playing

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We have dealt with a lot. All of those lost this year held a special place in our heart, whether four legged, two legged or someone we never got to meet, each one was part of our family and were very loved.

In all of the negative, there were still some bright spots.

I made some new wonderful friends this year……

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……and spent some great moments with older friends.

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I got to spend two weeks on the east coast with some of my favorite people.

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I attended the wedding of my favorite sister in law.

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We discovered we were pregnant again, and still going strong as of today at 20 weeks and 4 days along.

Wes and were able to make some great memories, with a trip to Kauai for our 4th anniversary, a trip to Disneyland for a mini baby moon and time spent in Los Angeles with my family for Thanksgiving.

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cousins  family

All in all I will look back on this year remembering how all of these losses were hard, and so many moments made me want to cry in frustration and quit.

But with my caring and supportive husband and lots of love from our friends and family, I made it.

So when I sleepily sip Sparking Cider tonight, I am toasting each and everyone one of you that made this year bearable. Pictured here or not, you know who you are and you know how important you are!

There will never be enough words to say thank you, I appreciate you, and I love you.

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And I can’t forget these two little loves…

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So here’s to looking towards 2015 with many new adventures to come!

Love to you all and Happy New Year!

The Journey So Far

So I wrote up a whole blog post last week and I’m using a different computer since mine pretty much died…and the post is gone.

So here is a different version, much happier than the first one I wrote.

Today marks an important day. Today is the halfway point of a day Wes and I thought would honestly never come.

This has been a very long year for us. We started off the first of the year on quite a high, with two days worth of knowledge that we would be parents. But the world came crashing down around us just a week later as we rushed to the emergency room, to later find out that at 5 weeks and 5 days, we had lost our little baby, loving called Squishy.

There was never an explanation of why, just thousands of unanswered questions. And the grief took over after that.

We struggled for months, with dozens of doctors appointments following to try and get us back on the right path, since it had already been nearly a year and a half on this particular journey.

After several failures, too many doctor appointments to count, medicated cycles and dozens of self inflicted medical injections and on our last leg of hope we finally got the news we had been praying for.

On September 5, 2014 we got the little ray of hope, after finding out that round #6 of fertility treatment had been successful. This news came just days before what would have been our due date with little Squishy.

We waited for bated breath, praying that this time we would make it just a little longer.

My second ultrasound aloud us to breathe just a teeny bit, hearing the most magical sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life – a sweet little heartbeat.

From then on every milestone was celebrated in our hearts, enjoying every extra second we had with this baby. The loss, even nine + months later, giving us what I called miscarriage PTSD.

But our little one, who we eventually nicknamed Peaches, kept growing strong, looking phenomenal at each ultrasound. At Thanksgiving we visited my grandparents in Los Angeles and told them the news, that come May 15, 2015; they would have their first great grandchild. Of everyone we got to share the news with, I think I was most excited to let them know.

This was a huge step for us. We had just passed into the second trimester, and at almost 16 weeks, we decided to spread the word.

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Not long after that, we found out we will be having a son in May and we could not be happier to hear that this little one is still doing well. We have seen his sweet little face, counted his fingers and toes and heard the sound of a magical heartbeat at our ultrasounds.

I feel like I have done my best to embrace every aspect of this experience. I have been lucky and hardly sick in these last 20 weeks. Mainly I have headaches and highly enjoy sleeping but pregnancy has been very good to me so far.

I cannot say the same for a short lived bout of flu!

There is so much more I’d love to say but before this gets to long and ramble-y (it’s probably already there!) I will say one last thing.

Thank you to each and every one of you who reached out to me in January and later in April when I talked about what we had been through at the beginning of the year. So many wonderful people shared their own stories and experiences with me. My heart broke for each and every one of them but knowing that I wasn’t alone helped me in my grieving process.

If you have questions about fertility and infertility treatments, please do not hesitate to ask! At some point I will share a post on our experiences and what we went through but for now, I am looking forward to these next 20 weeks and our sweet boy that I am beyond excited to meet!

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